1. George Bernard Shaw once found himself at a dinner party, seated beside an attractive woman. "Madam," he asked, "would you go to bed with me for a thousand pounds?" The woman blushed and rather indignantly shook her head.
"For ten thousand pounds?" he asked. "No. I would not." "Then how about fifty thousand pounds?" he continued.
The colossal sum gave the woman pause, and after further reflection, she coyly replied: "Perhaps." "And if I were to offer you five pounds?" Shaw asked.
"Mr. Shaw!" the woman exclaimed. "What do you take me for!" "We have already established what you are," Shaw calmly replied. "Now we are merely haggling over the price."
2. George Bernard Shaw was once asked by a manufacturer of electric razors to endorse their new product - by shaving off his trademark beard. Shaw explained that, like his father before him, he had grown a beard for a very good reason:
"I was about five at the time," Shaw recalled, "and I was standing at my father's knee whilst he was shaving. I said to him, 'Daddy, why do you shave?' He looked at me in silence, for a full minute, before throwing the razor out of the window, saying, 'Why the hell do I?' He never did again."
3. Having spotted George Bernard Shaw standing alone in a corner during her dinner party, a hostess anxiously approached her distinguished guest. "Are you enjoying yourself, Mr. Shaw?" she inquired. "Certainly," Shaw replied. "There is nothing else here to enjoy."
4. The comedian Danny Kaye once visited George Bernard Shaw shortly after his ninetieth birthday. "You're a young-looking ninety," he observed. "Nonsense," Shaw replied. "I look exactly like a man of ninety should look. Everyone else looks older because of the dissolute lives they lead."
5. "George Bernard Shaw, a staunch vegetarian, refused to attend a gala testimonial because the bill of fare was a vegetarian menu. He said, “the thought of two thousand people crunching celery at the same time horrified me."
6. In December 1950, Harold Nicholson visited the former home of George Bernard Shaw, run by the National Trust. "The grass path and the bed around the statue of St Joan are still strewn with his ashes and those of Mrs. Shaw," he recalled. "The trustees and the doctor got both urns and put them on the dining room table. They then emptied the one into the other and stirred them with a kitchen spoon. They went out into the garden and emptied spoonfuls of the mixture on to the flowerbeds and paths. All this some fifteen years ago, but the remains are still there. Just like the stuff Vita puts down for the slugs."