A Dozen Lines of Office Wisdom

· Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.

· Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing.

· Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

· If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

· You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

· If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

· A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.

· You can go anywhere you want to if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

· Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

· If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

· To err is human; to forgive is not company policy.

· You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.


Two for the Day's Work

1) When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.

2) Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!


What's in a name
A lady manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office.

“What is your name?” was the first thing she asked the new guy.

“John,” the new guy replied.

She scowled, “Look… I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by his or her first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.

I refer to my employees by their last name only … Smith, Jones, Baker … that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?”

The new guy sighed, “Darling. My name is John Darling.”

“Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . .”