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Home >> BMTimes >> Funny Articles
Monday, April 21, 2014  Don't Miss Next BM Times Article! Subscribe
 
 



Attention Deficit Disorder - A Common Syndrome

adhd_40311394097288_1.jpg This is how it manifests itself:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I head towards the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I picked up from the postman earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the recycling box under the table, and notice that the recycling box is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the recycling first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the postbox when I take out the recycling paper anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my chequebook off the table, and notice that there is only one cheque left.
My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the cup of coffee I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the coffee aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The coffee is getting cold, and I decide to make another cup.

 
[May 13, 2010] Click here to view details
 


A Dozen Ways to Differentiate

12. In school, you do homework. In college, you study.

11. In school, you wear your backpack on one shoulder; in college, on both.

10. In college, the professors can tell you the answer without looking at the teacher's guide.

09. In school, you're told what classes to take. In college, you get to choose; that is, as long as the classes don't conflict and you have the prerequisites and the classes aren't closed and you've paid your tuition.

08. In school, if you mess up you can usually sweet-talk your way out of it. In college, you're lucky to ever talk with the professor.

07. In school, when the teacher said, "Good morning," you mumbled back. In college, when the professor says, "Good morning," you write it down.

06. In college, weekends start on Thursday.

05. In college, it's much more difficult to figure out the course schedule of the man/woman you have a crush on, in order to figure out where he/she will be walking around campus in order to "just happen to bump into him/her."

04. In college, there's no one to tell you not to eat pizza three meals a day.

03.

school_40297748437588_1.jpg

 

arrow.gif (61 bytes)Click here to view details [April 29, 2010]

 


Before you fly

Flight_40291715891288_1.jpg

The fear of flights is a common syndrome. Frequent fliers may not be paying too much heed to pre-flight announcements and safety demonstrations but heaven knows how many of us our petrified when the smiling flight attendant politely points out how are chances of survival may be increased. And if you have recently read Arthur Hailey's 'Airport' or seen the movie, then it would be better to travel on tracks or on the road.


Though the trend has not caught on in India, in many other places in-flight safety lectures and announcements are sometimes flavoured a little with humour and some amount of well meaning teasing. This often helps to lighten up the situation a bit. Here are a few classic examples of flight-wit; it is for you to decide how effective these are.


§ On a Continental Flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”

§ “On landing, the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all of you belongings.

[April 23, 2010] arrow.gif (58 bytes)Click here to view details
 

 
 
 
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